You’ve been seeing someone special for a while. All of the pieces match up, the chemistry is off-the-charts, you value their opinion and you enjoy their company. The signs of true love are there, but how do you know if you’re in love? The general consensus around these parts is that falling in love happens gradually, over time. Instead of one glorious moment with violins in the background, you cross a series of hurdles together – and with each one, you become a little more sure. Maybe you’re waiting for two hours because the restaurant overbooked and her easy-going, ‘who cares?’ attitude gets you. Or his kindness to your family and friends seals the deal.
If you’re trying to figure how to know if you’re in love, here are 8 signs of true love that might mean those three little words are in order:
1. You’re scared.
Of losing her, of keeping her, of never being with another woman… the list goes on and on. Are you ready for all this? Is it true love? What gives? What if it crashes and burns like your last relationship? Wait, how did you let this happen again? Yet deep down, you know you’re going for it anyway. How do you know if you’re in love? You’re willing to take a chance on getting hurt if it means there is also a chance you’ll have your soulmate, too.
2. You’ll do whatever it takes to impress him or her.
“You want to go eat at the vegetarian restaurant? Sure.” “And salsa dance afterward? Why not?” When you’re willing to bend your own rules, try new things, and go the extra mile for her – like walking her fluffy, little dog when she’s sick or helping her move when you should be watching the game – chances are, you’re done for. How to know if you’re in love is when you’re willing to prioritize her needs above your own, just for the chance of making her smile that grin that really gets you going.
3. Your partner is always on your mind.
She comes into your thoughts constantly: “Amber would love this restaurant,” “I wonder what she’s doing?” or “What can I text him without sounding too sprung?” You want him or her to be thinking of you too, of course, so you make up little excuses to say ‘hi.’ Thinking about your new partner while hoping and praying she’s thinking about you? Yeah, you’re a goner – and it’s one of the many signs of true love.
4. Your partner make you want to be a better person.
The stakes are high when you meet a person who blows your mind. You become more serious and focused about getting your act together and fixing your money situation or hitting the gym. Things that used to dominate your mind just aren’t as important anymore. That’s how you to know you’re in love. Yes, your team just lost or you had a fight with a bestie, but the sting isn’t quite as bad with him or her sitting next to you. Besides, this new person rubbing your shoulders might even make it worth it.
5. You just want him or her to be happy.
How do you know if you’re in love? It’s not just about you anymore. When his boss is working her to death, you help him figure out what to say. If she’s sick, you’re at the store buying soup and crackers. After she gets in a fight with her sister – even though you may have no idea what the fight was really about – you distract her so she can get back to her usual self. Because when she’s happy and laughing and so alive… there’s just nothing else like it. Is it true love? For you, it is.
6. You can’t wait to share the good news.
Your friends know her name, his dog’s name, how she likes her eggs… Because when you’re head over heels, you talk about him or her. A lot. You hold her hand in public and keep your arm around her so no one gets any funny ideas about moving in. She’s pretty special, after all – how exactly did you get her again? – and you want the world to know. Signs of true love include being unafraid to be with them in public and tell everyone far and wide about who you just met.
7. You just can’t resist anymore.
Believe me, you’ve tried. You swore after your last relationship that you were done – it’s just not worth it – but all attempts to cease and desist have proven futile. Signs of true love include breaking your own rules and taking another chance. There’s no such thing as too much of this man; you want him there when you’re happy, sad, tired, sick. You know practically all there is to know about her, and most of it is pretty great. Yep, it’s official. You, my friend, are in love.
8. You’re still into him or two to three months down the line.
Sometime in the two-to-three-month range, take a reading of your relationship. How hot is the chemistry? Has it changed for either one of you? Curiosity and fascination are two powerful signs of true love, especially when the first rushes of chemistry start to pale. Crushes always melt you in the beginning and then break your heart in the end. In between crush and heartbreak, there are a lot of experiences waiting for you. Love at first sight experiences can rock your world and some are the real deal. If you’re still interested months down the line – that’s how to know you’re in love.
9. You’ve stopped wondering if there’s someone better out there for you.
How do you know you’re in love? It might have taken some time, but now, your eyes are glued. If you’ve been searching for your soulmate for a long time, you know it’s signs of true love when it’s time to stop looking.
10- You don’t feel the need to change the other person.
How to know if you’re in love? You love the person just as they are, and while there are quirks you’re not a fan of, you still wouldn’t change a thing about them. Signs of true love include a deep admiration and respect for your partner – and all of the qualities they bring to the table, your life and your relationship.
11- You think about growing old together and smile at the thought.
How to know you’re in love: when you you look ahead, you’re excited at the thought since you know there’s nothing you can’t handle with your true love by your side. If you think about years down the line and feel uncertain, you still have to figure out your true
12. You know – and love – everything about them.
A great indicator is to assess how much you really know about the other person’s life. Sure, you may know what he does for a living and where she lives. You may even have each other’s digits programmed into your cell phones. But have you met the other person’s friends, spent entire weekends together, or been included in each other’s daily lives?
How to know if you’re in love is to take an honest look at how interconnected the two of you are. And this doesn’t mean just the level at which you are opening up, but the level at which your partner is letting you into his or her life, too. By being honest with yourself about where the two of you are relating, you’ll get a better idea of is it true love.
14- You have ebbs and flows, but you’re happy.
In other words, in any healthy relationship there will be times when things effortlessly work, where the spark is alive and the couple is interested in one another and life. And there will be times of, for lack of a better word, boredom. How to know if you’re in love is accepting real love is understanding that the boredom is normal and not a symptom that something is wrong with the relationship or that you don’t love your partner enough.